If you’re alone this Christmas, unable to join your family, then join the Sylvan family on Twitter for an #OrphanChristmas!
Welcome ladies and gentleman to the humdrum of your average Tuesday…. But wait!!! What’s that on the horizon? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No! It’s Top Ten Tuesday! You may be wondering what this Top Ten Tuesday even is, well allow me to explain. Every Tuesday Sylvan will bring to you a list of the top ten answers for that week’s category: Sandwiches, places to hide the body, and other topics of all varying shape and size. Feel free to tweet @SyvlanTweets with suggestions of lists you would like to see in the future. Without further ado enjoy the first Top Ten Tuesday.
Top 10 signs that Christmas is on its way
1. SantaCon *shivers*
2. There are less homeless people, but way more Santas
3. DVD Sales of the film ‘Elf’ are actually a thing again
5. Jewelry commercials tell you so
6. Your fridge smells like old Thanksgiving leftovers
7. People start talking about presents and you realize you haven’t gotten anything yet.
8. Listening to grocery store music is more painful than usual
9. It’s cold as balls outside
10. People who aren’t hipsters are wearing Christmas sweaters
Recently, we’ve come to find a flaccid-feeling hammer, moping around #SylvanHouse. It’s very sad.
Watch out Marc Maron, this kid records his podcast, guests and all, in his closet. If you think chats in a garage can get uncomfortable, imagine fitting three grown men and a guitar into a closet converted bedroom. Coming from San Francisco, that might not be surprising, but what is surprising is that Kollin has been living in a closet for the past year and a half (pictured above). Seated on his mattress, the three of them make cozy bedfellows in his $300 a month accommodations. Over Ash Clayton’s melodic guitar, Kollin and Alex Q. Huffman offer a fresh look at everything in a 15min time span from comedy to personal experiences growing up, entertainment, politics, and everything in between his closet and the bathroom across the hall. The first episode of Closet Talk With Kollin Holtz (available on iTunes and Stitcher) is live, check it out below.
You should follow him on Twitter here.
Follow Sylvan on Twitter here.
January 2012 afforded the opportunity to do a show in Oakland, CA at the rapidly expanding Vitus. Over six months the affair took many twists and turns, ultimately turning the dead prelude to evening music into a vibrant and lauded comedy night featuring locals, visitors and bone fide stars. Then, with one quick swipe, Vitus’ partners ended their relationship and the club was closed permanently. The Vitus Show, so young, died too soon.
Then, in an unforeseen opening, the producers of the Vitus experience were called to produce a show at the historic Dirty Trix Saloon, dubbed Courting Comedy: The Show.
That night’s success allowed for another night captured with great affect by Andrew Moore.
Then, on the endorphins of an unbeatable spirit, old pals reached out to restart what once began in Jack London Square.
Started on November 29th, 2012, the Storking Comedy show has begun the arduous task of reestablishing a fresh new comedy show in Oakland, California. Taking residence in the infamous Stork Club, the show is a proper caper, barely escaping with toothy grin and a fist full of dollars. OJ Patterson provides structure and vision to the open-mic/showcase while offering an additional platform for the show’s greatest attraction: the interview.
As heard on the recently launched Sylvan Productions SoundCloud, each comedian is prodded and poked about their powerful jokes (or the audience’s lackluster response). Check out the Stork Club’s official recording of the first night: here. And you are welcome, as always, to spend some time at Sylvan Production’s latest East Bay haunt, the Stork Club. Every Thursday, 6:30-9PM. Open Mic Sign-Ups, 6:00PM. New Line-Ups Every Week. Always Absolutely For Free.
Kollin’s tangents, characters, and general nonsense are complemented by the whimsical backdrop of Ash’s music, & the riffs of Alex Q. Huffman.
So here’s what we did the other day:
Yeah. It was as fun to shoot as it looks. Thanks to Ebaumsworld for having us out to be in their video!
Yeah. Ebaumsworld. Remember them? Well they’re still around and even developing original content on top of their user submitted material. Pretty dope.
Maybe I’ll make it out to the open mic at Dirty Trix, maybe I won’t. Regardless, you should be there! It’s a holiday SPECIAL!
It’s a rainy day in the city by the Bay. And all of the comedians are are out to play.
Time to get some of the work out of the way. I wrote about tonight’s show Fresh Like Cadaver and tomorrow’s Get Yucked Up in the last post en masse. Nonetheless, it serves a purpose to repeat myself. GO! GO SEE EM! RUSH THE STAGE!
AND our newsletter recently went out, if you haven’t subscribed yet then you’re missing out on some of the sweet musings of OJ Patterson.
“Let’s just fuckin write – wait – no – this has gotta be… somewhat coherent.” – @LLDABEAST
That’s how we’re doing it tonight at Sylvan House, ladies and gentlemen. We all just trotted down to the Balboa Theater for a showing of Wreck It Ralph. It was a heart warming
Toy Story where in an kid’s room old arcade toys vidya games characters come to life become sentient programs. A classic hero story in a memorable universe, with hilarious and insightful call-backs to popular video game franchises and tropes. Not only was the movie hilarious, but David Gborie and Keith D’Souza (fresh from the road and running on very little sleep) fell asleep towards the end of the movie. As the film ended, the protagonist uttered his final inspirational line… And then, with comic timing so precise he couldn’t have planned it better, Gborie let out a snore that shook the heavens. Many a lawls were had, and we staggered out of the theater like a pack of old-school chums.
Tonight is the Sylvan Open Mic at Dirty Trix. Sign ups are in a mere hour, dear readers. So get on your Vespa and get down to Dirty Trix NOW!
What are you doing Friday night, audience people?!
Cause you should be going to Fresh Like Cadaver.
FRESH LIKE CADAVER! is a horror themed, LIVE movie riffing comedy show in the spirit of Mystery Science Theater 3000 held at The Cinecave “Micro-Theater” located in the basement of Lost Weekend Video in The Mission District of San Francisco. It’s the brain child of Andre Parker. And Andre Parker is pretty damn funny. So get yourselves there and into some seats ASAP! I don’t care if it’s a few days till Friday, GET DOWN THERE!
Anyway, I’m gonna get down to Trix, I’ll see you all there.
Buenos Noches, dear readers.
We don’t have much in the way of promotions for you today, silly readers. Mr Sylvan webmaster has spent all of my non-day job hours today establishing the brand new blackstronauts.com.
If you haven’t checked out Blackstronauts yet then you are depriving yourself of some SERIOUS entertainment. We’ve collected all of the released episodes together on the new site to make it look as impressive as it sounds. So do yourself a favor, and get over to blackstronauts.com and listen to some podcastin’ already!
Keith D’Souza and Andrew Holmgren are still on the road…
“Keith and I got lost in the woods, got picked up, cuddled with dogs in giant bean bag chairs, and now someone is taking us snowboarding!”
The location tag in this photo says “Government Camp, OR“. We can only assume they’ve been arrested by the Federal Government and they’re being interrogated by some new tyrannical form of torture known as frozen-waterboarding.
We wish the two stalwart companions good luck, and god speed in their journey.
Get down to Dirty Trix around 8 and laugh your brains out!